Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Perspective

Kona and I made a special trip to the VA Hospital today. Along with one of the other therapy teams we do our regular visits with, we were invited to go to a special ward, to see how our dogs reacted, and to see how we reacted. The ward is called the "Community Living Services" area, and was formerly called the "Hospice" ward. I thought I was prepared to visit with the patients there. I was wrong.

Nothing can prepare you to visit with people you know are dying. Unless you have a heart of stone, it is emotionally wrenching. We visited approximately 16 rooms, some with as many as 4 patients in them, some with only 1. The rooms with only 1 patient in them are the toughest. Those are the people who don't have much longer. We saw several very elderly gentlemen, some in wonderful spirits, and very happy for the company, and some with blank, staring eyes, that make you wonder if they are even aware of your presence. Kona was on his very best behavior, and I don't think I've ever been more proud of him. He truly was a Golden Angel today.

I got through most of the rooms without any problem. I chit-chatted my way along, smiling, saying hello, introducing Kona as I normally do, answering the questions I always get.

Until we got to one certain room....with only one gentleman in it. He was a young man, only in his early 50's or so, and it was my guess that he was suffering from cancer or something along those lines. He didn't have any of the visible injuries I am used to seeing at the VA, no lost limbs, no back or neck brace. He was just lying in bed, very pale, with tubes and wires coming out of him. His wife, a beautiful young woman of perhaps 45 or so, was sitting holding his hand. The room was full of other friends and relatives, about 5 or 6 total. Before we walked in the room was quiet. The administrator taking us around asked if it was OK for us to come in. There was a resounding "Yes!" so, in we went.

The wife let go of her husband's hand and said, "Oh, look Art, there are some beautiful dogs here to see you." She positioned his hand so he could stroke Kona's fur. He was unable to speak, but I could see his expression pert up the tiniest bit. It broke my heart. The wife leaned down and gave Kona a hug. He snuggled into her neck, and let her hold him. My dog is an angel.

Several of the others in the room got out of their chairs and came over to Kona, and Wilson, the other therapy dog making the visit with us today. They took their turns hugging, petting and relishing our dogs. The wife cried as she thanked me for bringing my dog in to visit. She told me that it was the only thing she had to smile about today. I was only barely able to hold back my own tears. We were there for only a few brief moments, but that experience will never leave me. I really, truly, and maybe even for the first time, understand what it means to be a therapy team. We brought a few minutes of joy to some real people in need.

We finished up our rounds on the ward, and as we did, I saw the wife saying goodbye to a couple of the others that had been in the room with her and her husband. One asked "how much longer does he have?" Her answer, "We think its getting close, maybe only a couple more hours or so."

The finality of those words stung me.

I haven't stopped thinking about that visit all afternoon. The administrator wants us to come back twice a month for more visits. I don't know if I can do it. My heart aches for the people I saw today. I don't think I'm that tough of a cookie. It certainly put my own worries and troubles in perspective, that's for sure.

The next time I dread making dinner, I will think of the woman who wishes she could have just one more dinner with her husband.

The next time Hubby and I have an argument, I will think of the woman who wishes she could hear her husband's voice just one more time.

The next time I yell at my kids, I will remind myself at how lucky I am to have beautiful, healthy children.

The next time I look around my house and think it's a disaster area, I will remind myself at how lucky I am to have a home, with a safe warm bed to fall into each night.

And the next time I get mad at Kona for chewing up a brand new toy that I just bought for him, I will remind myself that he is absolutely an Golden Angel.

My boy was exhausted when he got home. I can't blame him. It was emotionally draining for both of us. He had been snoozing when I took his picture...even angels need naps.


15 comments:

♥I am Holly♥ said...

God Bless you and your dear dear Goldens. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face after reading what you and your goldens do...that really puts everything in prespective doesn't it.

Travel girl said...

Ok that loud noise you hear is me crying. They are happy tears because what you and Kona do is amazing.... Just a few minutes with that family and you made a lasting memory of his last few hours. I am so proud of you and Kona, And Wilson and Tom too. It takes special people to do what you do and then be able to turn it off. Lets us all be thankful everyday for what we have!!!!!

Valerie Cummings said...

OMG Sue what a beautiful story. Kona is truly an angel! You too! Hugs Joey and Kealani

donna said...

I went through a long period of depression and recovery years ago, and every night I would get in bed and just be glad for a warm bed, roof over my head, and that I had a full belly and knew where my next meal was coming from. I figured that was more than a lot of people had, no matter how bad things seemed for me that day.

Hospice is tough. Darwin and I miss our friends when they disappear from the Casa, but we don't usually see them that near the edge.

You might want to borrow the book "Moments with Baxter" from me sometime-- they've done 18 years at Hospice, and the stories are amazing.

Golden Samantha said...

Holy moly, what an incredible service you are providing with Kona and Wilson. You are changing peoples' lives with the very furriness of those pups. It just tears me up. How strong you are to do this Sue. I admire you so much.
Huge Hugs and Love xo
Sammie and mom

Sylvia Bell said...

My Precious Best Friend... what you are is blessed, truly. You have a beautiful family, pups included, and a beautiful heart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so tenderly. The reality is we don't know how long we have here on earth and because of experiences like had today we are reminded of the treasures we have and need to be grateful for today. Thank you for being a blessing to so many Sue, I love that you are My Best Friend! Love you ~ Syl

kks said...

oh Sue what a beautiful, heart wrenching story...YOU and kona are angels....you found the meaning of therapy today and you probably gave that young man one of his last visions...a beautiful dog hugging and comforting his wife.....wow
xoxo

Paco,Milo, Maya and mommy Simona said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Sue...what a touching story...
I work with very sick people each day and I'm never prepared to see someone died...mostly if they're young people.....
I worked in hospice sometime ago....and it was very very very difficult for me....
When I'm at home I remember to thanks God for all he gave me....
Life is soooooooooooo fragile and we must enjoy for the little things we have.....aren't little but very very very important!!!!!!
You and Kona sure gave to that man and his wife a very very special moment....we're soooooooooo proud of you!!!!
WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
A big kiss and warm hugs from us!!!

Maxmom said...

Dear Sue
All I can say...I understand how you feel. That experience is beyond words. I was so moved by my own experience some years ago that I wrote a poem...
I am not sure if I have shared this with you before(please forgive me if I have ), but I am giving you a link to the poem I wrote - IN HONOUR OF THE THERAPY DOG.
May you be blessed in all you do with your Golden angels
Lots of licks
MAXDOG IN SOUTH AFRICA
http://theadventuresofmaxdog.blogspot.com/2009/06/special-gift.html

Monika said...

Sue, both of you are angels! Such a beautiful story while sad at the same time.
God bless you and your family!
xx

Harry said...

Sue,
Thank you again for the lovely blog.

Life is a precious gift and the human spirit is a power force. For those looking death straight in the eye, joy and happiness can be ignited by those around us. It makes me happy to see that you recognize an opportunity to give of yourself in behalf of others.
Giving without monatary cost; those who receive your gift I'm sure see it as priceless.

I'll be in SoCal in Dec. let's plan to meet.
Giant hug,
Dena and Harry of course : )

Farley's Mom said...

Bless your heart, and your sweet dogs, for generously sharing your time and love with people.

Chris H said...

No words really.. just "I do know that feeling"

Anonymous said...

Merrill:

Hospice is such a candy coating word for a situation too often given over to institutions and other non-family members.

Sometimes a true bite out of life doesn't taste as we wished nor expected. I never expected to read or experience a story as this when I began my day, even I feel changed. Thank you for the double helping of life.

Anniessa said...

I know my life changed the day the hospice nurse sat down with Sven's mom, Sven, and I and gently discussed the way that the changes we were seeing were part of how the body behaves when it comes to "the end of life." Her gentle manner helped us through the next few months and hospice nurses have been forever elevated in my view.

Thanks for getting in there, shoulder to shoulder with the heroes. It makes a difference - what more can we ask for in our lives?