Insomnia

It's 1:37am and I am wide awake.

I hate this.

I have things to do in just a few short hours, and yet here I am, unable to rest. This is getting to be a habit - a bad habit. I've really got to get to the bottom of what's keeping me awake. I know it's more than Hubby's snoring.

I need to turn my brain off.

Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? I wish.

(now it's 3:40am, and I'm still awake....peachy.)

Miramar National Cemetery

We live quite close to Marine Corps Air Station Miramar (formerly known as Miramar Naval Air Station.) In November of 2010 a new National Cemetery opened on Miramar. The 313-acre area has continued to be developed over the last year and a half, and today they held an open house of sorts, showing off their avenue of flags.

We just happened to drive by as they were setting up, and I caught these glimpses of this spectacular flag and a small group of Marines helping to raise it. It was pretty awesome.

Bogged Down

I've been feeling a bit like this old gal lately.

Old, bogged down, and carrying a heavy load on my mind. That's me lately...

Things will get better, I know they will. It just takes time. Please bear with me.

Fenton

My friend Jack shared this with me the other day. I cracked up when I watched it...I can completely relate to this poor guy yelling after his dog.

And poor Fenton, I can only imagine what happened when Daddy caught up with him.

Feeling Melancholy

I mentioned on my FB account today that I was feeling melancholy. My friend Donna posted this for me...and it brought a much needed smile to my face.

A Happy Occasion

At last something joyful to write about! Last night I helped one of my dearest friends celebrate her 50th birthday. We had a blast! The food was excellent, but the company of great friends was even better. The evening was filled with fun stories, lots of laughs, and memory making. It was perfect!

Shirley's husband surprised her with a ski trip to Canada! All of the arrangements have been made and they leave next week! Needless to say, she was completely surprised!

Her reaction was priceless!

Among other things she got a super cool camera - freeze proof, shatter proof, water proof - perfect for a ski trip!

Me and Bear. Man, I look tired!

There were 18 of us at the party. What a fun group!

It's been two weeks

...already. It's been a long two weeks since Dad's been gone. There have been countless times over these last weeks when I would have liked to have talked to him, asked for some advice and just spent some time sitting with him.

I visited the cemetery today instead. The roses we put on his casket last Friday are still there and the temporary marker is there. I imagine it will take some time before the real one is up.

They are doing some maintenance at Fort Rosecrans, so there is no grass in the particular spot where Dad's plot is. They are going back and resetting all of the head stones and making them perfectly level and straight. Other parts of the cemetery are already done and it looks incredible. The head stones look like perfectly lined up soldiers standing at attention. It is appropriate. It looks beautiful. Dad's area will be done soon, and it too will look beautiful.

I'm glad, he deserves a beautiful spot.

My Dogs

When everything else seems so topsy turvy, it is comforting to see the dogs cozy and relaxing. They give me such comfort...

Time to Rest

Today was the day we laid my Dad to rest. It's been a very, very long day indeed. The last time I slept was Wednesday night, and that was only for about 3 hours. Last night I didn't even bother to try to sleep. My mind was wrapped up in the events that would take place today.

I'll share more in the next day or two, I have some stories to share that have brought smiles to my face, and of course others that have brought tears to my eyes. It's been that kind of a week.

For now I just wanted to share a few images of today with you. Thank you to Heidi, Shirley, and Bobbi for sharing these with me so I could share them with you. All in all, it was a beautiful, perfect day.

Care Package

I received a care package from my friend Tony in Chicago yesterday. He sent Malibu Rum (my favorite), a couple of shot glasses, chocolate truffles, and coffee. Apparently Tony knows me pretty well!

A very thoughtful and appropriate package for me, and the timing couldn't have been better.

Thank you Tony, you are a sweetheart!

My Hero

Ever since I heard this song many, many years ago, it has always reminded me of my Dad. I heard it again today, and of course it made me cry. He truly was the wind beneath my wings.

Support

The outpouring of support I have received via private emails, comments, and mainly on my FB account has been so wonderful and touching. I can't begin to thank everyone enough. Your notes, kind words of concern and gentle advice have been so good for me. I've been sharing everything with my Mom, and she too has been so touched.

The words "Thank you" simply aren't enough, but it's all I have to offer right now. I've also been absolutely overwhelmed by the deliveries of flowers and plants I've recieved since yesterday. I just don't know how to begine to express my appreciation...so for now I will simply say....

Thank you Valerie
Thank you Denise and Gregg

Thank you Jill and Jeremy

and Thank you Troy

Sometimes Prayers Aren't Enough

The world lost a wonderful, loving man today.

Rest in Peace my Sweet, Perfect Poppa. You were truly, and without a doubt, the best Daddy a girl could have ever, ever asked for.

I love you now, I will love you forever.

3/4/29 - 1/5/12

Please.

My Dad just got taken in for his hip surgery. Please keep him in your thoughts this morning.

Really 2012?

Is this is how you want to start things off? Just a few days ago you were new, and fresh, and showed the promise of a beautiful, peaceful new year.

We started off together nice enough, ringing in the new year with family and a handful of friends. We played some cards, ate a bit of food. We even relaxed that first day together, lounging on the couch, watching a couple of old movies, and just enjoying each other. I thought we were getting along just fine.

You must not like Mondays. While I was on the way to Pasadena on the second to see the Rose Parade floats (I'll show pictures of some of those soon) you decided to show your true colors. I got a text from a dear friend telling me he'd lost his beloved canine companion of 17 years. While it was not completely unexpected, it was still heartbreaking and certainly not the way to kick off the first week of the new year.

Shortly after that, still on Monday, I sent another long time, very dear friend a birthday wish. She no longer lives in San Diego, but I knew she was in town to welcome you, 2012, in with her family. I quickly received a response from her saying that her father was very, very sick. I knew that he hadn't been well, but I hadn't realized the severity of his illness.

Needless to say, my heart was heavy walking around looking at the sites, thinking of two of my very dearest friends, worried for both of them and praying that Mother Nature held off for just one day, sparing my friend her birthday.

We had a pleasant time at the post parade viewing, but it was very warm, and there were so many people there it was hard to enjoy the event. Still, we made the most of it, saw the greater majority of the floats, got some great pictures, and were grateful for the experience.

Shortly after getting back to our car I got the text I was dreading...my friend's father died. On her birthday. Dammit. Out of the 365 days, it had to be that one? Sometimes things almost seem like a cruel, horrible joke.

After what proved to be a pretty rough Monday, I was ready (at least I thought I was) for a new day. I didn't have much on the agenda on Tuesday, which is pretty rare for me. I was looking forward to spending some time with the kids, playing catch-up on some emails, getting a little paperwork done, etc. The day started off as planned, and was going along nicely until around 2:30pm. I was just finishing up a late lunch with the girls when my cell rang. It was my Mom telling me that my Dad had taken a fall coming out of dialysis, and that she was going to take him to the hospital to get him checked out. Sounds like a good idea I thought to myself. I told her to call me and let me know how things were. Just minutes later I got another, this time panicked, call from her telling me to get to the hospital ASAP. Something was terribly wrong. When they'd gotten my Dad into the car after the fall he seemed OK, but when they got him out at the hospital, he was not. They weren't sure what had happened - a possible stroke or heart attack, but whatever was going on wasn't good. He lost consciousness and was completely unresponsive for several minutes.

To make a long story a little shorter, we still aren't sure what exactly happened. It does not look like he had a stroke, but we aren't 100% sure about a heart attack. His heart went into an abnormal rhythm and his pacemaker kicked in and did what it was supposed to do. That's a good thing, but we have no idea why it went into the arrhythmia to start with. That's the scary part. On top of the heart concerns, sure enough during the fall the poor guy broke his hip. Dammit again! He was finally moved from the ER room into a regular room at about 9:15pm last night. At least is was a little better than the hectic ER environment.

So...Pops will need surgery to put a rod and a screw into his hip to repair it. The problem is that with is heart troubles (did I mention he's had a quintuple bypass a while back?) there are some major concerns. We spoke to several different doctors yesterday from an internist to an orthopedic surgeon to a cardiologist and they are all in agreement that the surgery needs to be done as soon as possible. They will be running some more tests on Pop's heart today, being sure that the pacemaker and defibrillator are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and that he is as (in their words) "tuned up as he can be" for the surgery. The newest news is that they will give him another dialysis treatment either late tonight or early tomorrow, and then do the surgery tomorrow. The surgeon already told us that the recovery is a long, difficult one, so that's something to dread look forward to...

You know I don't usually ask for much of my blogging and FB friends, but my Pops sure could use some prayers and good vibes sent his way. If you are so inclined, it would be very appreciated. I'll keep you updated.

Until then, I'd like to remind Ms. 2012 that if you keep treating people so crappy, you are going to get a really bad reputation. Nobody likes a royal bitch, so back off.

'Nuff said.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to my wonderful family and friends! I hope today will be the beginning of an extraordinarily good year for you. I look forward to sharing it with you.